If you know me, you know I can't stand those words. They have become the motto for superficial chat. Everyone is always "Great", "Fine" or "Wonderful" and yet their face paints a different picture. When did we become of society of not caring? Because the bottom line is...no one really wants to know because we tell ourselves its not our business or if they do they dont have time to hear it. We throw those words out there and expect a one word response so we can semi hug, say that's great and move to the next person. What if we told the truth? What if we screamed from the top of our lungs...."NO, I'M NOT FINE!" Well, I'll start. A couple of weeks ago I wasn't "Great", "Fine" or "Wonderful"....I wasn't even "Okay". Life had brewed up a good ol' fashion hurricaine and it was wailing full force. So what do we do when we are faced with storms? Well the world tells us to evacuate (a politically correct word for run)and/or take shelter. Our flesh immediately says, "Um, this sucks....lets go where it won't suck" and we entertain the thought of a place to go where we won't get hurt, as if this utopoia exists where relationships are perfect and the world is as it should be. But lets face it, no such place exists in this world. So, there I stood in my own little hurricaine, debating on where to run and hide when reality slapped me in the face. I'm not really the running type. In my past I have made choices that there was no running from....the music had to be faced. So, I turned into the wind and allowed myself to feel it all, the rain, hail, pounding wind....everything that lay before me. Because it's there I learned to truly feel. You see, my marriage had been rocked. I was lied to by someone I loved tremendously and it hurt...bad. I was angry...crazy angry. But here's where I think we go wrong. It's okay to get angry. It's okay to be mad...embrace the hurt because it's then when we realized how much we loved. If we deal with the emotions as they come instead of surpress them, we can begin to see clearly again. Yes, I was lied to. Chad made some bad choices and those choices affected everyone around him negatively but...we have all screwed up at one point or another. I believe we set these expectations for our spouses that are unrealistic and when they dont meet them we throw in the towel and demand a refund on our "Happily ever after". We show more grace and forgiveness to our children then to our spouses because apparently we think the other should have it all figured out and should proceed to show us this over our shared lifetime. Not so. Marriage to me now means "loving the guts". It means actually looking past the outer shell with the dings and paint chips and seeing the heart of the person. People make mistakes, spouses make mistakes, Chad made a mistake. But, through facing the music I realized the truth. What's my truth? I am madly in love with my husband. I love the way he looks at me, I love the way he makes me laugh and I adore the look he gives me when I have done something silly/gross. He is my flawed Prince Charming.
So when failure inevitably comes our way, lets be a generation of second chances. A generation that sticks it out and says....I said "for better or worse...so lets deal with both." Lets love one another wrecklessly without hesitation or guards. Let's be real with one another and declare our hurts with the same boldness as our happiness. Lets stop and really listen and embrace one another. So the next time someone asks you "How are you"...be bold, be truthful, be wrecklessly unafraid. Embrace your truth.....for its there you'll find freedom.
